Pappy told her, “Susie gal,
You’ll have to find another.
I’d just as soon yo’ Ma don’t know,
But Joe is yo’ half-brother.”

So Susie put aside her Joe
And planned to marry Will.
But after telling Pappy this,
He said, “There’s trouble still.

“You cannot marry Will, my gal,
And please don’t tell yo’ mother.
But Will and Joe, and several mo’
I know is yo’ half-brother.”

Susie Lee’s po’ heart was broke
From running out of men
She’d hesitate to take a mate
If they were all half-kin.

There was no boy that she could find
Without that fatal flaw.
She had no clue what she could do,
So, Susie told her Ma.

But Ma just laughed and said, “My child,
Just do what makes yo’ happy.
Marry Will or marry Joe…
You ain’t no kin to Pappy.”

While reflecting on their problem, the park administrators noticed Ed, a part-time redneck intern, responsible for cleaning the animals’ cages. Ed, like most rednecks, had little sense, but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of ANY species.

So, the park administrators thought they might have a solution. Ed was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for $100?

Ed showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, Ed announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions.

“First,” he said, “I don’t want to have to kiss the gorilla.”

“Second, you must never tell anyone about this.”

The park administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what was his third condition.

Ed stated, “You gotta give me another week to come up with the hundred bucks.”