Comedy Footprint » Sports

The Beverage Cart Driver

Stinky — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 03:08:17 +0000

Teeing off on the 12th hole at a golf resort, we stopped to buy cold drinks from the young woman driving the beverage cart. As my buddy reached for his wallet, he said to her,

“You’re in great shape. You must work out a lot.”

Flattered, she gave him a big smile and gushed, “Oh, thank you so much! You know, you’re kinda cute yourself.”

The next day I was with a different group, and the same woman drove up in the cart. “Watch this,” I whispered to my friends.

I walked up to her and said, “Wow, you’re in great shape! You must work out a lot.”

“Yeah,” she replied. “You should try it yourself.”

Duck Hunting for Dummies

Stinky — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 02:44:31 +0000

Did you hear about the two guys who decided to try duck hunting?

They bought new outfits & equipment, and went out to a place in the woods where they heard the hunting was really good.

After several hours of thrashing through the woods, one fellow said, “I don’t know about this. We’ve been out here all day and haven’t caught a single duck. Do you think we’re doing something wrong?”

“I don’t know,” replied the other. “Maybe we’re not throwing the dog high enough.”

The Purse Snatcher

Stinky — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 21:21:24 +0000

A woman was called in front of a Texas Grand Jury for manslaughter after she shot a mugger six times in the back as he was running away with her purse. When he grabbed the purse and ran, she had her hand on the gun in it so she was left with the revolver in her hand.

When asked by the Grand Jury why she shot the man 6 times in the back as he ran away, she replied under oath: “Because when I pulled the trigger the 7th time, it only went click.”

She was acquitted.

Slow Twosome on the 12th Hole

Stinky — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 20:00:13 +0000

Two businessmen were out at their private golf club enjoying a beautiful afternoon with a round of golf. Since it was just the two of them, they were moving around the course in short time until they came upon a twosome of ladies on the twelfth hole.

The two men watched as the ladies hit their shots, carried on animated conversations and taking their own sweet time to finish play totally ignoring the twosome behind them. The more they watched, the more frustrated and angry the two men became as their round was slowed to a snail’s pace.

Finally one of the men said, “I’m going to drive up to those ladies, give them a piece of my mind and tell them they better let us play through or else!”

As his companion watched, the first man drove up the cart path got about half the way to the ladies, abruptly turned around and returned to the tee.

The second golfer asked, “What did they say?”

The first said, “I couldn’t say anything. As I got closer I realized that one of the ladies is my wife and the other is my mistress.”

“That’s OK, I’ll go talk to them,” replied the second man as he jumped into the cart and headed toward the women.

Suddenly he too made a U-turn and headed back to his playing partner.

As he approached the tee he said, “Small world, isn’t it!”