Halloween Party Surprise
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested. But she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for an hour, awakened without pain. As it was still early, she decided to go on to the party. Because her husband didn’t know what her costume was, she thought she’d have some fun by watching to see how he acted when she was not with him.
Categories: Marriage, Romance & Intimacy Tags:
The Farmer’s New Bull
A farmer went to the local bank to borrow money for a new bull. The loan was made and Banker Bill, who lent the money, came by a week later to see how the bull was doing.
The farmer complained that the bull just ate grass and wouldn’t even look at a cow.
Categories: Farming, Romance & Intimacy Tags: bull, pills, veterinarian
The Amorous Gorilla
A small West Virginia Wild Animal Park had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very… “amorous,” and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the park veterinarian determined the problem: The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of her species available.
While reflecting on their problem, the park administrators noticed Ed, a part-time redneck intern, responsible for cleaning the animals’ cages. Ed, like most rednecks, had little sense, but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of ANY species.
Categories: Rednecks, Romance & Intimacy Tags: animal, gorilla, veterinarian, zoo
Some Things You Just Can’t Explain
A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting soused. A man comes in and asks the farmer, “Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?”
Farmer: Some things you just can’t explain.
Categories: Drinking / Alcohol, Farming, Romance & Intimacy Tags: belt, bucket, cow, milk, tail
Slow Twosome on the 12th Hole
Two businessmen were out at their private golf club enjoying a beautiful afternoon with a round of golf. Since it was just the two of them, they were moving around the course in short time until they came upon a twosome of ladies on the twelfth hole.
The two men watched as the ladies hit their shots, carried on animated conversations and taking their own sweet time to finish play totally ignoring the twosome behind them. The more they watched, the more frustrated and angry the two men became as their round was slowed to a snail’s pace.
Rekindling the Passion
After 20 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband begin to touch her in ways he hadn’t in quite some time.
It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back.